The secrets we find in play

pssst, look.

[07:55am MST, 12/25/22] Good morning, and Merry Christmas from your magical fairy in the sky. This is the first newsletter I’m writing while in flight. By the time I click ‘Publish,’ it will be from my writing desk at home in Nashville.

I sit in my window seat on Southwest flight 1323, Denver to Nashville. I gaze through the sheer veil of clouds, down over the snowy plots of land. Late last week, as I finished up with work for the year, my heart began to transition to a softer, more restful place. Something gave me permission to ease up and listen the call to slow down. I sat back in my chair to consider how I wanted to spend the days of the upcoming holiday break. I missed my parents. I missed my brother. I missed my sister. I missed my niece. It came over me like an unstoppable wave. I texted my dad asking if he and Mom could hop on a phone call. “What are you guys up to next week?”

Flying out of Nashville, Tuesday night, 12/20/22

The braid of divine provision weaved together four days of love, healing, and connection with my family. I boarded my flight to Denver late Tuesday night, with plans to return to Nashville on Friday morning. The way things worked out, I still had not been able to see my sister. I accepted it, choosing to trust that it was not meant to be. Deep sigh. Hopefully next time. Unlike me, All the Powers that Be did not accept it. Mother Nature did not accept it. A wild cold front surged through the States, making extra sure to hit Denver and Nashville, nice and good. My Friday morning flight was cancelled, and I rescheduled to the next one available- Sunday morning, Christmas Day. On Friday afternoon, the unanticipated events continued to unfold. Barriers that had been blocking the way for me to be able to see my sister were removed. I got to hug her, sit with her, talk with her, and laugh with her. I thank God for my Christmas gift- getting to hold my dad, mom, big brother, little sister, and sweet niece. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

One of my favorite things about this week was playing with my niece. She is 5 1/2. She is smart, inquisitive, and imaginative. We spent most of the day on Thursday spreading out with treasures- seashells, gems, barbies, blocks, beanie babies, buttons, dolls, polaroid pictures, cars, beads, plastic food, and invisible, delicious tea.

In one of our games, we made a castle for Mom, Daughter, and Gramma Barbie… oh yes, and Neighbor Barbie too. They were all gathering in their castle for Christmas dinner, ramen noodles and meat. “My favorite!” said Barbie daughter. When it was time for bed on Christmas Eve, Barbie Daughter went to sleep. A giant, screaming Minnie Mouse entered her dream and scared her to Barbie death. Then, a flying Beanie Baby pug came swooping in from the sky, welcoming everyone to Dream World. The flying pug turned to Minnie Mouse. “Settle down Minnie Mouse. Quit screaming. Let’s go watch fireworks and eat cheesecake.” They all had a blast in Dream World together. The inevitable morning approached, and it was time to get back to bed. Barbie Daughter, giant Minnie Mouse, and flying Beanie Baby Pug made a pact to meet in Dream World again tomorrow night. “Dream World doesn’t open until you’re asleep, so you have to go to sleep first.” Barbie Daughter announced with authority.

Polaroid of my niece and me / Polaroid my niece took of me / Gems / Seashells

[Playtime End Scene]

Later that night, we were tucking my niece in bed, and I asked her if she was going to Dream World. She looked up at me, seemingly puzzled by my momentary lack of intelligence. “It’s not open yet.” she stated, as if it was the thousandth time she had to explain Dream World to me.

I’ll keep educating myself on such things. I suppose one way I am studying alternate universes is through Sci-Fi movies and shows. I’ve been really into them the last few years. I officially embraced the nerd.. The Force… within. Ope, there she goes with her first Star Wars reference. Along with Star Wars, some of my favorite sci-fi movies include: Blade Runner 2049 (it’s on my list to see the 1982 original too), Avatar, The Matrix, The Martian, her, Interstellar, The Hunger Games, World War Z, hmm what other ones… do DC and Marvel movies count? Some of my recent favorites in the realm of shows include: Raised by Wolves and the Star Wars series- The Mandalorian, Clone Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Boba Fett (not great, but still fun),  and Andor (the best). I’ll throw in Game of Thrones, Avatar: The Last Airbender, and The Legend of Korra too. A lot of these are probably not technically sci-fi. Nonetheless, they give me the same sense of wonder and playfulness of thought.

Science Fiction also tends to bring a sense of doom and uneasiness. This is understandable as it revolves around the unknowns of the future, including the ever increasing possibility of robots and/or zombies taking over everything. I enjoyed reading

Meg Oolders

's piece titled “Pupil A4R1.” I left her a comment about why I enjoyed it, specifically related to sci-fi as a genre. I loved how she worded her response to me: “Sci-fi has a sneaky way of making me want to embrace the unsettled-ness. It always makes me worry and hope at the same time.” I thought that was a perfect way to describe the vibe of Sci-Fi. Thanks Meg! Go check out her Substack, y’all - Stock Fiction. 

Alright Jeannie, let’s bring all this together. We have screaming Minnie Mouse who settles down to enjoy some fireworks and cheesecake in Dream World with Barbie Daughter and flying Beanie Baby Pug. We have the worried hope of science fiction. Oh yes, and today marks the birth of a mysterious Divine Being, Jesus Christ, who came to us through a supernatural pregnancy within a woman named Mary.

Are we all on drugs? -HA!

No really, isn’t it fun? Playing with my niece was a glorious practice in dissolving the mental and societal constructs that can become so ingrained in me over time. I’m grateful to recognize this. I’m grateful for the joy and sense of freedom playtime brought me. I’m grateful that it allowed me to connect with my niece. It required my willingness to venture into her imaginative space. That experience tied into my thought process about science fiction when the topic of the new Avatar movie arose in conversation with my Dad. You know what, now that I’m thinking about it, playfulness in general permeated the whole week. 

My family still has our struggles, just like every other family. We are still working through some growing pains. Somehow, we usually manage to bring levity to the situation. “If we’re not laughing, we’re crying!” is an expression I use a lot. I am comforted when people remind me that even Jesus was a human being with the same human growing pains. I get the impression he also liked to play. People tried to throw labels and titles on him. People tried to dress him up and test him. He seemed to be in his own… Dream World, unfazed by the physical reality around him. He told stories we also call parables. He shook hands with people who had dirt under their fingernails. He regarded the woman at the well as dignified, talking to her with kindness and respect. He shared many meals with his best friends at the pub in town, as opposed to staying cooped up in some palace somewhere. As many say, he was God with us. I also like to say he was Love with us. I believe he demonstrated what it’s like to live in a beautiful, invisible space… what it’s like to live in Spirit. When it was time for him to leave, He left us with a parting gift- that Spirit he always walked around in. Best party favor EVER, Jesus. Happy Birthday, big ole Cowboy in the Sky.

12/23/22 - Friday evening sunset, after I saw my sister, part 1

12/23/22 - Friday evening sunset, after I saw my sister, part 2

[3:44pm CT, 12/25/22] I'm back home in Nashville now, sitting at my writing desk. The great thing about Dom and me is that neither of us like to plan. The terrible thing about Dom and me is that neither of us like to plan. He picked me up from the airport this morning, and we were both hungry. We found one of the only grocery stores that was open- Talpa Supermercados. The latino vibes sparked the inspiration for breakfast burritos. We picked up some chorizo and other fixings to make them. One of our party beverages of choice is Red Bull. They didn’t have the regular kind for Dom, nor the sugar free kind for me. Blueberry and watermelon it was.

Well, would you look at us in Dream World with our intergalactic cocktails celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

with love, Jeannie