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Sue's avatar

Your journey reminds me of mine! Went through RYT about 2 years ago with no intention of teaching and it was such an interesting journey. Keep showing up, keep teaching, and keep sharing your stories 💕

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

That makes me happy to know you find similarities in our journeys Sue! I wish I could come to one of your classes. Thank you so much for the encouragement. It's really getting real now as I anticipate receiving my certification on Sunday. What caused the shift for you deciding to teach? Did you start right away after training?

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Sue's avatar

I had a teacher who was so wonderful and she really, really saw me. She encouraged me to teach and I wanted to keep that teaching muscle memory going. I taught one class for more than 6 months until I felt ok to add more classes. I will let you know when I launch my online workshop -- I am really dragging my feet on this and trying to figure out why.

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

Nice, that sounds like the ideal pace to start out teaching. I love how your teacher saw you and encouraged you. I imagine the online workshop will happen when and if it’s meant to be. It can be another thing to practice neutrality with, like you and I have been! Holding it loosely, not shutting it down, yet not forcing it to happen 🤷🏼 then the zing to do it might just surprise you one day. Who knows ♥️💫

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David Winkler's avatar

I usually read along with your voice, but this week I opted to put the phone down and just listen to your sweetness. Then I remembered later that I had to go back and look at the pictures. Don’t want to miss anything!

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

It gives me joy to know you enjoy it so much, Dad! I'm glad both reading and listening give you a nice experience.

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Kara Norman's avatar

“Sola!” Quiet victories 👏 YES to crisis as door 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

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Kara Norman's avatar

Also: on the question of dark topics, an overarching approach scares me. What seems to work more is: what is here? What wants to be spoken right now? What’s trying to come into the light? That feels like a safe mode of inquiry for me. Finally, I am on a roller coaster of highs and lows in one aspect of my life and it’s so interesting to be here! Very painful and yet, this week a tiny bit of awareness/normalizing arrived in my field. Ohhhhh, this is how change feels, got it, ok, yup. Quiet victories evade me right now and I feel very happy for your clear passage teaching. Yes to being the clean vessel. 💓

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

Kara, I love that mode of inquiry you shared, thank you! Those are really good questions to ask. Ride the roller coaster as best you can, sis. When I'm there, I also say: "riding the waves." I'm glad you had some tiny relief & shift in energy last week, at least regarding the awareness/normalizing you mentioned. Thank you for sharing honestly from where you are and also sending such a supportive message. Sending love and peace your way.

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Facing Your Demons's avatar

I love this, Kara. What do you do, though, and I'm genuinely curious, when the desire arises to write something which might be considered on some level "taboo"?

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Kara Norman's avatar

Such a good question. I try to be with things inside first - journaling, living the reflection, telling friends. And then, if it seems that I need to write about it “louder”, and it will benefit myself or someone else to do so, I try to allow myself the grace to do it. While *really* upping my allies and self-care rituals, because shame flares are real and rear their heads in scary waves. I try to breathe through those waves and hear which way my heart wants to steer me, even when my smaller self is resisting and scared. In short, I take my time and go slowly, and try to tend myself as gently as I do the material…sometimes I will also address my fears about the taboos in the writing - just lay it all out there, which can feel like balance, too.

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

Thanks for asking this Michael, and thank you for answering, Kara. This is so helpful, and I already have a sense that I will come back to it for reference and support.

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Kara Norman's avatar

here for ya 🫶🏽

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

🦋🖤

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Linda Ross's avatar

Love the scar tissue analogy and so, so relatable.

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

I'm glad it resonated with you, Linda! Thank you for sharing the connection.

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Duke's avatar

Dear Jeannie,

Your post today seemed a perfect thread that runs through the body of your posts; i.e., the great benefits of honest self-reflection and self-examination; not from a judgmental perspective, but rather as a neutral witness open mindedly observing one's self. And how that practiced neutrality opens our heart and the eye of our Spirit to feel and see, not only ourselves, but others, with greater and greater clarity in the ongoing practice.

Our Truth comes to us in many forms -- found through many paths and doorways.

Thank you for re-minding me that the key is to a door with many names; behind which we discover unconditional Love. With step by step progression we discover unconditional Love for ourselves and others.

Your continuing thread is that progressive perfect practice makes perfect.

In Loving Thanks,

Duke

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

Duke, this was a helpful and insightful synthesis, thank you. You prompted me to zoom out again. I zoom in when I write an SUD post, and it's reassuring to zoom out and notice connecting threads. Thank you for drawing my attention to that.

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Duke's avatar

Please keep bring your thoughts to us. Your reflections are good for all, and that includes the writer: I'm sure.

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Facing Your Demons's avatar

Honest self-reflection is crucial :)

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Duke's avatar

Indeed it is. I would add: Honest neutral self-reflection, because the nonjudgmental neutrality is a crucial element in the reflective process..

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Facing Your Demons's avatar

Agree. Tough to do. But important.

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Duke's avatar

Yes Sir,

It is only with continued practice I am more neutral/nonjudgmental.

Thanks for the feedback

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Facing Your Demons's avatar

Boy: We need more of this on Substack

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Deb Hill's avatar

I have never thought of scars as keys. What an amazing analogy. Just being human gives us scars, and allows us to scar others intentionally or not. Being in a 12 step program and working the steps allows us to first see our own scars, and address them and start the process of healing them. By going through that process, it gives us the courage to start healing the scars we have inflicted on others.What doors are unlocked by this process? Trust, respect, humility, responsibility, self worth, love. The sky's the limit. I will be using this analogy in the future.

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

How cool that the analogy landed so well with you Deb! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and connections here. I like your twists on the concepts too. It's helpful having multiple ways to think about situations and struggles and how to navigate them.

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Facing Your Demons's avatar

Yes. Well said. True. Good ole 4th and 5th steps. And 9, of course.

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Lana Wagner's avatar

Every week I watch for this release. So wonderful today! Beautiful ideas, beautifully written. ❤️

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

Thank you for this sweet, generous message Lana. My heart swelled up, and it made me feel really good. <3 It's so nice having people on the journey with me. Every week I look forward to writing it. It feels like sending messages in a bottle out to sea, and that's beautiful enough. Then sometimes little birds come back in these comments and tell me where they went.

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Lana Wagner's avatar

I seem to keep finding those bottles on the beach!

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Facing Your Demons's avatar

Woot woot :)

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Duke's avatar

Indeed we do! I am encouraged by the thread Jeannie is weaving. I am maintaining faith that our collective looms can create whole cloth.

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Facing Your Demons's avatar

Beautiful. I Love, as I always say, both your writing and your (literary and physical) voice. I totally relate to all of this, of course. Our lives are chaotic and fractured and anarchic (emotionally and mentally if not literally) and then we get sober and everything slowly shifts into a lower gear and life becomes in many ways harder but in some key ways significantly easier. I relate to your journey. Once we shift into that new gear new doors open, symbolically, emotionally, work-wise, friendship-wise, etc. We change. We grow. We learn. There's an inner calmness we develop. You touched on that beautifully. We begin to grasp that things can be hectic around us yet we can remain still and calm. The Buddhists call that equanimity.

Scar Tissue is a great phrase for it. It's also the title of the (quite good) memoir by Anthony Kiedis, the Red Hot Chili Peppers singer. I think he'd relate as well :)

Thanks, as usual, for the solid, deep, introspective insight. Btw: Your voice is the only voice I've heard on Substack where, if I turn the speed-dial from 1.0 to 1.75 or even 2.0 you STILL sound smooth and good :))))

Michael Mohr

Substack: "The Incompatibility of Being Alive"

https://reallife82.substack.com/

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Jeannie Lynn Wagner's avatar

Michael! My deepest thanks for your thoughtful response here. I have so much respect for you as a writer and person. It's really special to know this is landing with anyone, let alone someone I respect as much as you. Thanks for sharing the detail of how you related to this. It's all so beautiful! As you can tell, I've really been enjoying that inner calmness you mention, the equanimity. I didn't know about that memoir by Anthony Kiedis, how cool! I should check that out. I guess I'm doing something right in my recording process to keep clear quality even when it's sped up! Haha Thank you again, friend. You help keep me going. <3

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