1/2 Year

To the Day.

I published my first piece on Substack on Sunday, October 23, 2022. Today marks six months of Seeing Upside Down.

I have been in awe this week. To be honest, this writer is quite at a loss for words today. The alignment of everything has swept me right off my feet.

The new moon and solar eclipse were at their peak energies around midnight leading into Thursday, my 34th birthday.

Now, today, I sit down at my computer feeling utterly perplexed, wondering why I feel at such a loss for what to write.

A little invisible bird arrived at my seeking heart and told me to look at the calendar. I counted the months back to when I started SUD.

Six months. Half a year. Just like that. Wow.

96 of you have chosen to automatically receive my little telegrams to your email every Sunday. The level of overwhelming gratitude I have is leaving me somewhat paralyzed in this moment. I’m bubbling over with tears.

My tears release so much:

fear

doubt

self doubt

resistance

hesitation

reasons to not

concern about outcome

The release then helps me to breathe in so much:

confidence

trust

self love

acceptance

resolution

reasons to continue

presence in process

I took a screenshot of this little gem on my phone today (from Insight Timer app)

I hung out with my nephew last night while my brother and sister-in-law had an evening out. I hadn’t had quality time with him in a few weeks. It was so good for my soul to separate from all the moving parts of my dreams, goals, and hard work to purely play and be with a little human who I love so much. We played outside in the grass and found rocks and spinny leaf things that fall from the trees. He giggled in his swing on the tree when I went flailing backwards, acting like his swinging motion forward kicked me off my feet. He had a little more dinner, and we played with more toys inside. Cozy pajama time came around, and then it was time for the nightcap of milk. We finished the evening reading Brown Bear, and he dozed off on my lap in the rocking chair. I rocked with him a little longer soaking in all the treasures of the evening before laying him in his crib.

Again, I felt gratitude for the support of all my family and friends while my schedule has been more packed than it ever has been. It was good to be grounded once again in family love last night. This story might have only included a few, but the expression of love is directed to all of you who support and love me, despite my constant adventures pulling me in directions other than direct communication and time spent with you.

I have a seeking heart, and I am incapable of complacency.

I’ve shared a lot in previous posts about coming home to myself, and that is true. That is what has been happening. This time around (because I’ve dabbled in so many things through the years), I’m confident the things I have spent time and energy developing, like writing and yoga, are things that will be with me the rest of my life, whatever the capacity might look like.

As I was leaving to head home last night, my sister-in-law handed me a can of non alcoholic “apero spritz cocktail” she found at Sprouts. I got home, and it was pretty late, so I decided to put it in the fridge and save it for today. Little did we know how perfect the timing would be to have a celebratory drink to celebrate the milestone today. Thanks sis. Cheers. (She’s also the creative master who designed the font and textures of the Seeing Upside Down logo/cover photo/header - check out her creative genius here: jenwagner.co.)

Happy six months SUD!

That’s about all this heart-in-a-puddle has for today, everyone.

It has been a time of great transformation. Visions continue to become reality. I am dancing with excitement and peaceful at the same time for everything ahead.

I am so glad you are here with me.

If there is something you want to start, I hope this gives you permission and fuel. Let me know how I can support you. If you are new here, feel free to go back in my archive (which isn’t even all that much) because I talk A LOT about process and the small, incremental steps it takes to grow in big ways. Small steps each day matter the most.

With love, Jeannie Lynn*

*yes adding my middle name is new. I hope you like my updated nom de plume. : )

Photo by Ankush Minda on Unsplash