Shower in the Dark

Where it all began

The last time the power went out, I remember taking a shower in the dark. I lit a couple candles, and it was lovely. The other night, took a shower in the dark, not because the power went out, but because I wanted to.

The glow of the lamp in my bedroom shed just a touch light into the bathroom, so I could at least see I wasn’t reaching for the shampoo to wash my face.

It was dark enough to direct my consciousness to the space around me and the streams of hot water on my skin. I thought to myself, where else would my consciousness be otherwise? Well self, it’s interesting you asked; it would likely be in the standard 53-ish other places at once, perhaps not even in the present place whatsoever.

It wasn’t until this spontaneous dark shower that I realized the benefit of disrupting the familiar setting.

If I went about my usual shower with the usual light on, I might have washed my hair while thinking about the things I need to get at Target to make the DIY foaming hand soap I saw on Pinterest. Then, while I washed my face, I’d mentally run through my schedule next week to consider when I could have a free night to keep reading that book my friend gave me. Then, I would argue that there are too many other things I should do before sitting down to read a book. Then I would feel sad about the things I told myself I need to do.

And to think that’s only one hypothetical train of too many thoughts trying to coexist during an activity that should be helping me decompress.

So yes, let’s go back to the dark shower.

So often, we think it’s bad news when something happens in a different way than we’re used to or in a way we don’t expect.

Yet by interrupting the default… the expected… the familiar… it pulled the infinite power of my consciousness into the present moment. I noticed how incredible the hot water felt after a long day. Then that sparked gratitude for the extravagant luxury of having an apparatus inside my house that automatically heats up my water for me. Woah. And then?

Well, then I was just a happy clam in the shower.

And what more could I ask for after a long day of working, thinking, problem solving, and navigating the unpredictability of the other humans around me?

After my shower in the dark, I could actually realize how tired I was from the day, instead of ignoring the tiredness and attempting to think my way into tomorrow.

I let myself be good tired after a good day’s work. I let myself accept the chance to rest.

I’ve been enjoying these simple phenomenons lately.

Is “simple phenomenon” a paradox? Or are things only a phenomenon because, somewhere along the line, we forgot the original nature of things?

My niece was born yesterday, on Saturday. We all thought she would come a week before that. By Friday, I was jokingly communicating with her via text to my sister-in-law: “I know you’re cozy and warm in there, but life begins at the end of your comfort zone!”

Synchronistically (with my recent hot shower in the dark), my sister-in-law joked in return: “I mean, I get it, I hate getting out of the shower too- Can you imagine feeling cold for the first time in your life?”

No wonder I was a happy clam in the dark shower.

That’s where it all began.

I could only get back there by noticing a default I picked up somewhere along the way and then making a choice to challenge that default. You’ll notice it’s not always life and death, people. I’m talking about having a light on or off during a shower.

It can be simple.

And that simple thing can bring me to the moment in front of me.

By being in that moment, I have everything.

Photo by Constança Rodrigues on Unsplash