Power

The Less You Exert, The More You Have

The center.

The extremities.

It pulls inward.

They swing outward.

It holds within.

They reach farther.

It listens.

They project.

It waits.

They rush.

It knows.

They try to prove they know.

Why is the center singular- ‘it’? Why are the extremities plural- ‘they’?

The center is union. It is whole. It is complete. Nothing to add. Nothing to take away.

The extremities are separate. They are partial. They are unfinished. They are dependent on something else. They need regulation.

So, who should call the shots?

A loose extremity?

When I let a loose extremity make the call, it might not know what’s best for the whole. It is reacting to something outside of itself.

It keeps trying, reaching, reacting. It gets tired. It can’t sustain itself. The outside is hard to control. The outside keeps evolving and expanding and changing shape. The extremity tries to combine powers with others. “Yes,” they say, “let’s build an army. Let’s try harder. Let’s work together to get this outside under control.” They keep getting tired, so they keep building a bigger army.

The outside is hard to control. The outside keeps evolving and expanding and changing shape.

Meanwhile,

the center is strong by itself.

When I let the center make the call, it knows what’s best for the whole because it has been listening and watching all along. It is not threatened by change. It can be trusted because it observes how the change has come to be.

The center is immoveable, so it’s not about winning or losing. It is limitless and doesn’t need control over anything to be okay. The outside keeps evolving and expanding and changing shape. The center enjoys the light show. It works with it. There is nothing to fight and everything to embrace. It finds itself in everything, in everyone, so it has nothing to search for. It is redundant to be power itself and then make a plan to get more power.

The outside keeps evolving and expanding and changing shape.

It seems to be a waste of energy to chase control.

I can speak for myself.

I tried to control my family. I tried to control my heart. I tried to control my body. I tried to control my friends. I tried to control my circumstances. My attempts kept failing, so I had to get away from myself. The farther I went searching, the scarier and more threatening the outside got. I started to fight it. Then I couldn’t fight it anymore, so I hid. I drank, and I hid. I became very sick, but the world didn’t stop spinning. The outside keeps evolving and expanding and changing shape.

Before my lights went out completely, I had one last, good thought:

Cease fighting and cease running away.

This thought turned the pilot light back on in my center. The little flame slowly began to grow as it stayed in one place. By staying in one place, it could meet the rest of the world where it was. By meeting the rest of the world where it is, I can see things as they are. They don’t have to change me because the power of my flame is within.

It’s easy now to recognize a person, group, company, or political agenda who is/are on the wild goose chase for control. Their attempts keep failing, so they keep reaching and getting louder. The more threatened they feel, they either double down or hide behind other things. An authority who does this has already lost their authority, whether they realize it or not. Integrity is lost and a sickness ensues. The outside keeps evolving and expanding and changing shape.

What will prevail is the one and the group who knows their unchanging center, which can meet the rest of the world where it is.

He holds the most power because he doesn’t exert it to get more of what he already has.

She stays in the center because she searches for nothing.

They are the healing ones in a sickly place because they offer power, instead of trying to take it from others.

Just a thought.

I have a best friend who I have known for about ten years now.

She has always accepted me and loved me. For some years, I tried and tried with all my might to be accepted and loved by her. I kept trying new ways to impress her. I know now that it was a frustrating pursuit because she already loved and accepted me. For some years, I began to compare myself to her and feel less than her. I did this with other friends too. I got tired of choreographing the shows to impress them and win them over. They kept evolving and expanding and changing shape. I ran out of choreography ideas, so I started to hide so I could figure it out on my own. The alcohol made everything dark and confusing. Sometimes I would have spurts of power, and I would immediately give it away. I would flaunt something. I would criticize to make myself better. I would make a move to show that I still have it together, and it would take all of my energy. I would retreat and drink again to plan my next spurt of power. I kept giving away any power I had, and then I wondered why everyone else seemed to have a limitless supply of it.

It’s easy to recognize a person, group, company, or political agenda who is/are trying with all their might to be accepted and trying fancy ways to to impress. They compare themselves to others and double down if the competition grows. The choreography is forced and quick and loud because it’s hard to keep up with the outside, which keeps evolving, expanding, and changing shape.

Because this best friend of mine has always loved and accepted me, that was the center of our friendship. That center waited for me to come home. It didn’t have to reach and yell and pull at me. It was already complete. It knew all it had to do was wait for the wild extremities to run out of energy. I came back to the ember in the center. Now that I am staying in one place in the center, I can meet this friend where she is. When I meet her where she is, I can see her. When I see her, I love her.

Last night, I sat in a booth at a restaurant. Dominick was to my left. His parents sat across from us. And this best friend sat to my right. She was admiring my stone ring. It was one of two stone rings I was wearing. She had seen it before, and it was not the first time she gushed about it. I told about how another friend sent it to me in a care package with other rings and fun gifts. It was a familiar moment, and I had a new response. Historically, I would have exerted power and continued to show off the ring, and hoard the satisfaction for myself while she admired it. Last night, something different happened. I realized how many other stone rings I have. I realized that I had more than enough to share with this friend. By giving her this ring, it would give her joy and, in turn, strengthen our bond. And so I did. I didn’t lose anything because I already had more than I needed. I only gained the bond. I loved her without even trying. It was just an idea that came to me, and I went with it.

The outside keeps evolving, expanding, and changing shape.

Maybe it’s not about seeing it as a threat or comparing oneself to it. Maybe it’s about seeing what we can contribute, what we can give, what we can share.

By harnessing power in the center instead of throwing it around with extremities, it creates union. We are already connected there anyway, whether we realize it or not. It’s where we come from in the beginning. It’s where we go in the end. It is inevitable and infinite. We spend all this time in our short life on earth scrambling.

Why not slow the scramble? Why not come back to center now? Many extremities will start to naturally align and follow a center that has harnessed its power. Other extremities trying to run their own show will expend the rest of their limited energy.

The outside keeps evolving, expanding, and changing shape.