Follow a Feeling

PotAYto-PotAHto, TomAYto-TomAHto

On Saturday morning, I discovered an artist named Suzi Nassif. I’ve linked her name to her website there if you are interested in checking out her artwork. The series of thoughts I followed to land on her website felt inspired. It started with receiving my dad’s Connections score via text. In case any of you haven’t played, it’s a digital New York Times word game, which I’ve also linked. You are given a board of 16 words, which you must group together to create four groups of related words. When you open the game, it’s initially just a bunch of random words. As you look at the words, different associations in your mind start thrumming and forming. Early in my scanning, a clump of words reminded me of a painting. I thought maybe the painting was the theme of one of the four groups of words. The three words I initially saw were: clock, mattress, and fishbowl. This is the painting I imagined when I saw those three words:

The Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dalí, 1931

Okay, so there is no mattress, and there is no fishbowl- haha! But there are definitely clocks. Welcome to my brain- LOL. When I imagined the painting, it was a mattress draped over the tree branch instead of a clock. Don’t ask me why! And the fishbowl? Maybe because that looks like water in the distance? Maybe it’s because this painting makes me feel like I’m looking into a fishbowl of another world.

And that is precisely what I’m getting at: this is all about a feeling more than something concrete. We get stuck when we want things to be certain and concrete.

I decided to keep skipping down the rabbit hole and googled surrealism. I tapped the search filter for images, and one in particular caught my eye. When I clicked on it, it took me to a blog post on Suzi Nassif’s website. I didn’t see the the name of the painting, but I have linked the source above and in the caption of the pictured painting below.

https://www.suzinassif.com/different-ways-to-create-surreal-art/

I ended up exploring her whole gallery and enjoyed how her art was resonating with me. When two things are resonating with each other, their vibrations are complimenting one another. I explored the thought that maybe the way I write could be similar to the way a person paints. More specifically, maybe the way I write is in the vein of surrealism. Creators in this vein allow the unconscious mind to come forth in what is being expressed. True to the name of my Substack, I often see things in alternative ways. You’d think it would make everything muddier. Flip that on its head. It actually makes everything clearer. When I’m looking at a painting, if I get the same feeling, whether it’s a clock or a mattress draped over a tree branch, then there is something more to that feeling. It’s an unchangeable quality. It’s beneath the surface. It’s magnetic. It pulls me in. I experience this when I write too. I begin to write because I want to. I often don’t even understand why. I write, and the sense pulls me in. I want to keep following it, so I keep writing.

The objective of the daily contemplations I’ve been putting out is to give you a feeling to follow. I only just began this era of Seeing Upside Down one month ago, in other words, four posts ago. It’s not so much about the words themselves, but rather the senses they pull up from your subconscious as you read them. In this way, I am not necessarily leading you. You are leading you.

I say dreamsicle. You say creamsicle. If someone offers me the cold, sweet treat of orange flavored ice and vanilla cream on a hot day, I’m not going to let it melt while we argue which name is correct. I’m going to eat it because it’s delicious.

Here’s some dessert for your week ahead.

SUNDAY

MATCH

What we are drawn to is what we are becoming. Pay attention to the things you notice. Those attributes you are catching onto are catching you too. If you admire a certain quality in someone, it is developing in you. If you detest a certain quality in someone, it is a thorn in your own side, not theirs. Whether you enjoy it or you hate it, whatever it is has your attention. Your focus might change tomorrow, so take in whatever you see now. If you can observe this in something else, you can observe it in yourself too. What we are drawn to is what we are becoming.

MONDAY

MOON

Waiting can be just as active as acting. As we begin to feel the evolution within ourselves, our desire to see it around us grows. The most sustainable growth mechanism is to allow things to run their natural course. It is not time to take deliberate action when there is more here to receive. Listen right here instead of missing what is out there. You will be out there in no time. You will thank yourself for taking the time to absorb the secrets of this place, here and now. Sit with an idea for a little while or maybe a long while. Let it withstand a few tests of time. Not everything that is illuminated now will go with you. Hold whatever it is in your hands, literally or figuratively, and decide how you feel. Do you feel peace somewhere in your body when you imagine leaving behind what you hold in your hands? Does the thought of that release give you relief? Or do you feel peace when you consider taking it with you? Does the thought of that continued support give you relief? Clarity comes when you know which way your deepest peace is leading you. Waiting can be just as active as acting.

TUESDAY

FLOAT

There is atmospheric pressure. Can you stay where you are despite the uncomfortable, unfamiliar vibrations? Allow yourself to be shaken up in order to sift out the heavy, dense waste, which no longer needs to be there. This process can make us tired. It’s okay. Can you remain and trust that you were brought here for a reason? Continue with the things that nourish you daily, even when other things are changing. As waste is released, you may begin to feel lighter. You are not who you once were. You are not necessarily somewhere you want to stay forever. You took the leap. You have yet to see what will catch you or where or how you will land. You are suspended in mid-air and still in the dark at the same time. Close your eyes and take a breath in. Sit with the pause at the top of the inhale before you begin to let air back out for the exhale. Imagine yourself in that pause. See? You are correct. You are not necessarily somewhere you will stay forever. When you give the pause your full presence, it becomes a pocket of serenity. What better state is there to propel us forward than serenity? We are the smooth, fine sand that remains after the shaking and sifting. The challenging waves have clarified and refined you. You no longer fight them. You are at the crest of one now. Soon you will be deposited on the next shoreline. Soon you will rise out of a new surface. There is atmospheric pressure.

WEDNESDAY

GLIDE

Your new pattern has created a groove. Even though things are better now, there will still be days when you don’t have a lot to give. You can’t give what you don’t have. On these days, trust the current that’s been created by your motion and growth. Trust it so much that you let go of the driving force for a moment. Lean back and let it take you. Remember this isn’t a fast track. This is your becoming. It is the very thing to be most careful with. Stretch too much and there will be a break. Relax, and the fibers of you will be reinforced. Be shaped by your surroundings instead of striving to change them. When you let go of unnecessary effort, your energy is conserved for greater things. As you meld with this impression around you, it creates a new opening that pulls you through naturally. Change the narrative. You are not defeated just because this is the part of the obstacle course to go down the water slide. It’s here, and it’s easy on purpose, and it’s timely when you’re out of energy. You will have more to give again soon. For now, let the momentum you’ve already created do the work. Your new pattern has created a groove.

THURSDAY

UNSPOKEN

To be ourselves does not require a disclaimer. It requires being. There is nothing to explain when actions connect and offer clarity. There is much to explain when actions contradict themselves. Observe. Less talking, more seeing. We are either a series of disjointed segments or a continuous, coherent thread. One is easier to follow. They are both a part of the process. There is a time to be broken apart and scattered. There is a time to be whole in one piece. Embrace this ebb and flow, and you’ll have nothing to apologize for. We look to a person who, in their time, becomes the continuous, coherent thread. They help show the way because they are undivided. They are a mirror with no cracks. They reveal what is real to everyone who faces them, which is that we are all the same. We keep putting our pieces together until we recognize our picture like we recognized theirs. It’s ours now. We become it. We are fully responsible, and therefore finally free. To be ourselves does not require a disclaimer. 

FRIDAY

DIVE

There are different ways to become submerged. We dip our toes in. We wade. We dunk. We walk in quickly. We sink in slowly. We fall in from the air, feet first or head first. The end result is the same. Each time is an opportunity to trust your gut. However you got here, how many times is it worth playing back? You are here. Now is the time to swim. Begin to move towards the surface. Notice when a person swims in the literal sense. Their arms and legs lift out only to gain momentum to press down, away from where they are going, which is up. Is this not like a flower? The seed lifts out to root down to rise up. In the practice of yoga, I’ve heard the expressions “root to rise” and “press down to lift up.” If there is a place you are trying to go, press into the place you are now. The more you lean in, the more you will be guided out. There are different ways to become submerged.

SATURDAY

INVISIBLE

There is more. We describe things in our sleeping dreams as real- “that dream felt so real.” We describe things in our waking life as surreal- “This feels surreal.” So, the two can be like one another. Are they not different reflections of the same thing? The word surreal broken down is sur- (beyond) real. Real experiences and surreal experiences reinforce one another. If a waking day feels surreal, consider what is beyond the surface of what you see. You are sensing something beyond it. The least you can do is enjoy what you are feeling. When you absorb it enough, you might even realize it’s what you have been waiting for. It is a sign of your place in the world. It acts like a sound that resonates with you. It is a harmony wrapping perfectly around your melody. If you can’t describe it to someone yet, that’s okay. Keep listening. Remember everything that brought you here while also allowing yourself to follow the new resonation. Maybe people are not so embarrassed to dance. Maybe their hesitation is more of feeling at a loss for how to describe why the urge is happening. Maybe they are awestruck. After all, watching other people dance is mesmerizing. When someone is moving to another force we can’t see, it is surreal, for the dancer and the observer. You can be both. There is more.

Linked song lyrics:

You feel it all around yourself
You know it's yours and no one else
You feel the thought of love again
It's all right
In spite of all the things you did
We'll work it out

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