Duke

Hey everyone, I want to take a brief moment to extend a warm welcome to my new subscribers. I’ve seen a wave of you roll in the last couple of weeks. Thank you for joining me and the gang here in the fun world of Seeing Upside Down. I hope each of you always feels free to introduce yourself and/or drop any reflections in the comments of any past, present, or future posts you may visit.

This week I’m writing a brief tribute to someone very dear to me. He has previously contributed to this space in the comments of my posts. His name is Duke.

If you are relatively new here, or even if you’ve been around for a bit, and haven’t read the introduction to Duke or the story of when I traveled to visit him, you can find those two posts linked here.

Ogden

What Feels Insurmountable?

Duke passed away at 77 years old this week. He was in his home in Wendover, Utah, which he called the Hermitage. He was my mentor, friend, and “podna.” For any of you fellow Lord of the Rings fans, I also called him my Gandalf. My aunt connected me with him back in November after she started reading my Substack and shared it with him. He insisted that she offer his contact information to me in hopes I would call. I did. 

From the first moment I heard his voice, I knew he was a long lost friend, maybe from a past life or something. In this lifetime, we did not know each other for very long. Yet I have never learned so much from any one person than in the nine months I spent with Duke. We established a mentor/mentee relationship right off the bat. He infused love, light, and higher understanding into my life.

Duke carries on outside of linear time and human form now. I smile knowing he is in bliss, riding through the cosmos, center of the saddle, on his horse Ole Yeller with “The Outfit.” That’s what he named God, the archangels, and ascended masters, like Jesus, who he called upon and communed with in prayer and meditation. He also called them the “company of Heaven,” all ultimately connected to one source that connects us all. As I’ve said before: “pick your word” for that source- could be God, Spirit, Energy, the Divine, Love. You don’t even have to capitalize it like I am. It’s not limited to our languages or rules of grammar. It’s both personal (to each of us in our own understanding) yet also collective as we realize it connects us.  

I miss Duke’s voice and presence already. I am grateful I never have to miss his spirit. In that way, he is right here with me, just like always.

The waves of grief and tears come like unpredictable contractions. I let the wave pass over, not even trying to stop it. I just imagine his big cowboy hug around me reminding me he is right here, right behind what my eyes can see. He is always in my heart, always with my soul. 

He helped me understand these concepts. It has helped me in long distance relationships with other people too. I have family and dear friends all over the map. When I start to feel the ache of not living close to my only blood related niece, I close my eyes and go within. I send my light and love to her in pulsing waves. Within moments, I sense her playful little six-year-old self full of that same light and love. I shift from aching and missing to love and connectedness.

I do the same thing with my mom and dad, brother and sister, best friends in other states, and even family and friends close by who I don’t see as often when life gets busy. In human form, we physically can’t be in more than one place at once. The thought could end there. That’s boring though, isn’t it? I’m personally excited about the scientific studies with energy connection and another dimension. These concepts have been more widely recognized as spirituality or the spiritual realm, which is not wrong. What still seems to be less common is acknowledging the reality of it all in science. How often do we say or hear: “I’ll be there in spirit!” We usually say it light heartedly, not fully digesting what we’re hearing or saying. Yet it is absolutely something we are able to do. We are energy. We are love. We are connected. 

Duke, I dedicated my yoga class to you on Thursday night. At the start of class, I shared with my students that a dear, loved one passed away this week. I told them you would have wanted me to be there, so that’s where I showed up, even with my grief. As I led us through our breath and our movements, I could feel you there.

I wanted to call you so badly on the way home and tell you all about it.

As quickly as I picked up the phone, put it back down, and began to cry again, I sensed you saying:

I am right here, forever and always.

I am Love.